Month: December 2019

MY TOP 25 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2020

And so we now not only enter a new year, but a new decade of cinema. Only time will tell if these new 20s will be as roaring as the last, especially considering the world is burning outside, but there’s still plenty to look forward to at movie theatres! That being said, the start of a decade often doesn’t take shape until a few years in, so I doubt 2020 is going to completely alter the cinematic landscape within these next twelve months. It’s still a year packed with sequels, reboots and pre-existing intellectual properties, but I’m happy to have also found a strong handful of total originals to scatter about this list. Though the world may not change as soon as we hit 2020, this is the year to plant those seeds, and hopefully within a few years we’ll have a better idea of what this decade means for the industry. Otherwise, I think we’re still very much on track for the Disney conglomeration of media…

Once again, to avoid the “what about…” comments pre-emptively, I will explain my rules for qualifying:

  1. This list is based on what is scheduled to come out in 2020 as of writing. Some of these may get delayed to 2021 and beyond for a variety of reasons, but as of now they are due for release next year. I’ve included many a film on one of these lists that have been delayed as such (one of my entries this year was on my list two years ago…). I am no Nostradamus and cannot help it if investors decide a film is better placed in another quarter or needs extensive reshoots.
  2. I’m only counting films that have a confirmed 2020 release (in the US at least). There are plenty of films, generally smaller ones that may still be seeking distribution or sussing out marketing, which are in various states of production with an aimed 2020 release. However, if it doesn’t have a specified date on the calendar, it’s not getting counted.
  3. Films that will be released here in the UK in 2020 but were released in the US or elsewhere in 2019 don’t count. Don’t expect to see films like Jojo Rabbit, The Lighthouse or Bombshell on this list. I exclude them because I want to talk about totally unreleased films without any preconception of critical success, not just gush excitedly about films I’ve heard are good from across the pond and are simply awaiting release on our shores.
  4. This is not a prediction of what I think will be the best films of 2020. There’s always a film on this list that ends up utterly disappointing, and the best movies often end up being ones I overlooked or haven’t even heard of yet. These are merely the movies I am most excited and/or interested to see, and their quality will be judged when I have actually seen them.
  1. A Quiet Place: Part II

Release Date: 20th March (US, UK)

A Quiet Place was one of the bigger surprises of 2018, showing that John Krasinski has directorial potential and finding a deep emotional core about family and survival inside what is otherwise a fairly bog-standard post-apocalyptic sci-fi story. Whilst the first film did enough to set up a compelling sequel, where exactly it has to go is still very much up in the air. At the very least, with her barefoot-and-pregnant phase in the first film now over, hopefully this time around Emily Blunt will get her chance to be a full-on badass. If we’re going to have to wait even longer for that long-promised Edge of Tomorrow sequel, I need my badass Blunt fix wherever I can get it.

  1. The New Mutants

Release Date: 3rd April (US), 8th April (UK)

So yeah…this was on my list two years ago. It was supposed to come out in April 2018…then got pushed to February 2019…then August 2019…and now April 2020…hopefully. There is still doubt about whether it’ll get a release at all. Reshoots were supposed to be done in the meantime, but there’s no word that’s actually happened. This movie has been sitting on a shelf so long, the franchise it was meant to be a spin-off from is over. And yet still…that only makes me want to see it more. Whether it turns out to be a mangled mess or a mistreated gem, the behind-the-scenes calamity of getting this movie into cinemas is all the hype I need. Plus, this trailer that is now over two years old still looks pretty cool.

  1. Free Guy

Release Date: 1st July (UK), 3rd July (US)

Movies based on video games tend not to be good. Movies about video games, however, have a slightly better track record, and the premise of Free Guy is so simple but ripe for opportunity that it’s surprising no one has attempted it before. Essentially a riff on Stranger Than Fiction but with video games instead of novels, the prospect of Ryan Reynolds as a bumbling NPC becoming self-aware of his place in a Grand Theft Auto-style world has comedic potential written all over it, and the trailer shows promise with its vibrant and quirky sense of humour. Director Shawn Levy can be pretty hit-and-miss, and there’s every chance this could end up a disaster like Pixels, but the premise and trailer are enough to have me cautiously optimistic.

  1. The Invisible Man

Release Date: 28th February (US, UK)

It looks like Universal is making attempt #3 at bringing their Monsters franchise back for the modern era, and this time they’ve taken the safer but far more interesting avenue: handing the reigns to over to the low-budget maestros at Blumhouse. With Saw and Insidious co-creator Leigh Whannell now at the helm, this new take on The Invisible Man just from the trailer delivers exactly what the likes of The Mummy and Dracula Untold were missing: actual horror and suspense. Shifting the perspective of the story and turning it into a psychologically twisted examination of abusive relationships and gaslighting with a supernatural twist is a bold move, and exactly the right way to modernise these classic horror stories for a new age. Given the limited scope and budget of the film, it’s an investment that is likely to pay off for Universal no matter its ultimate quality, but here’s hoping it delivers.

  1. Fast & Furious 9

Release Date: 22nd May (US, UK)

After a brief detour with Hobbs & Shaw, the mainline series is back on track and the roads are wide open with possibilities. Which characters are they going to bring back from the dead? What crazy new stunt are they going to attempt with cars? And can we please just send these characters to space already? With series veteran Justin Lin back in the director’s chair for the first time since the sixth instalment, here’s hoping for a rollocking and mad adventure that brings a little of that magic that made peak Fast & Furious so special. Plus, John Cena is in this one, and here’s hoping he does something incredibly ridiculous like…stop a car with his teeth or something. I don’t know. These movies are kinda crazy and hard to read.

  1. West Side Story

Release Date: 18th December (US, UK)

Whilst it of course has its origins on the stage (and Shakespeare before that), West Side Story is so iconic in its 1961 film form that the idea of a remake feels almost disrespectful. Then again, when your name is Steven Spielberg, pretty much anything is a possibility. Robert Wise’s direction of the original has been so influential to many directors over the years (even Michael Bay credits Wise and his version as one of his main inspirations), so it’s simply going to be fascinating to see how Spielberg apply his distinct aesthetic to the classic story. Outside of the opening of Temple of Doom, he’s never even directed a musical before, and that in and of itself is compelling enough to have me intrigued. Thankfully, the filmmakers have learnt from time and have cast the film with a more racially-appropriate cast, and even original star Rita Moreno returns in a different role! With that said, it’s going to be interesting having two big latinx-focused musicals on our screens in the same year…

  1. In The Heights

Release Date: 26th June (US, UK)

The likelihood of a film version of Hamilton is high…just not for at least another five years. However, the long-gestating adaptation of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s other hip-hop musical is finally making it to the screen this summer. With a fantastic cast brimming with latinx and black talent, and both Miranda and co-writer Quiara Alegría Hudes heavily involved in the production, this musical tale centred around a bodega in Washington Heights will hopefully reach an audience far beyond the Broadway stage. Director Jon M. Chu may have a sporadic track record, but his history with the Step Up franchise and Crazy Rich Asians certainly demonstrates he knows how to make lavish crowd-pleasing fare with an eye for diversity. Speaking of Crazy Rich Asians…

  1. Raya and the Last Dragon

Release Date: 25th November (US), 27th November (UK)

…our next entry is from that film’s co-writer Adele Lim, who recently turned down the sequel after discovering she was being paid less than her white male co-writer. So, jumping ship to instead write the next feature from Walt Disney Animation Studios seems like a solid move. The studio’s third film steeped in Asian culture after Mulan and Big Hero 6, there’s not too much info yet on Raya and the Last Dragon, but based purely on the image below I’m excited for the possibilities. Also, Awkwafina is in it, and Awkwafina makes everything better.

  1. Top Gun: Maverick

Release Date: 26th June (US), 17th July (UK)

I shouldn’t be excited about a sequel to Top Gun for a variety of reasons. It’s been too long. Joseph Kosinski makes very pretty but ultimately empty and derivative films. Tom Cruise in anything other than Mission: Impossible is often dicey. This is an idea that really should have been put aside after Tony Scott’s untimely passing and been left at that. With that said…damn, the footage released so far is impressive and makes the whole thing seem relevant again. The only way this could be any better is if they somehow embraced all the homoerotic subtext of the first film, but I sincerely doubt that will happen. Otherwise, looks pretty damn cool. Will probably look great in IMAX too.

  1. Coming 2 America

Release Date: 18th December (US, UK)

So Eddie Murphy finally made his first great movie in over a decade with Dolemite Is My Name, and now he’s reteaming with that film’s director Craig Brewer to make the long-awaited sequel to one of his most iconic films. Coming to America still holds up as one of the great comedies of the 1980s, and right now honestly feels like a more ideal time than any to bring Prince Akeem back to the streets of New York. With a good chunk of the core cast returning along with new additions like Wesley Snipes, Leslie Jones and Tracy Morgan, Coming 2 America has plenty of potential. Let’s just hope the comedy sequel curse steers clear of this one…

Image result for coming 2 america

  1. Bill & Ted Face the Music

Release Date: 21st August (US, UK)

Speaking of sequels to 80s movies, this one has been a long time coming, and it seems the Keanussance has finally worked enough magic to bring back the Wild Stallions. The idea alone of seeing Bill and Ted now middle-aged and dealing with fatherhood is a funny enough concept alone, and a new status quo that could bring some needed emotion to what is likely to be another wacky time-and-reality jumping adventure. Also, William Sadler is back as Death, and that alone bumps this way up the list.

  1. Onward

Release Date: 6th March (US, UK)

Pixar has two films out in 2020, with their second feature Soul releasing in the summer, but this fantasy adventure from Monsters University helmer Dan Scanlon looks the more promising of the two so far. Fusing fantasy tropes with a modern setting isn’t the most original of ideas (hell, we saw Bright do that pretty poorly recently), but from the footage so far it looks like an imaginative concept bolstered by a story of two brothers who want to see their dad one last time that’ll hopefully deliver plenty of laughs and heart.

  1. Godzilla vs. Kong

Release Date: 20th November (US, UK)

So whilst Godzilla: King of the Monsters might not have been to everyone’s tastes (personally, I thought it was a lot of goofy fun), the Monsterverse must soldier on to what it’s all been building to: the long awaited rematch between King Kong and Godzilla. Director Adam Wingard has a spotty history from highs like You’re Next and The Guest to lows like Blair Witch and Death Note, but there’s no denying he’s a visually compelling and talented director, and his eye feels perfectly at home with the other filmmakers who’ve been crafting this world of monsters. There are all sorts of ways this film could go, but as long as it delivers on the promised action with gusto, it’s going to be difficult to make this concept fall apart without at least a little fun on the way.

Image result for godzilla vs kong

  1. The King’s Man

Release Date: 18th September (US, UK)

Kingsman: The Golden Circle ended up being a bit of a disappointment but, instead of heading straight into a third instalment, Matthew Vaughn and co are stepping back in time for a sec to detail the origins of the titular espionage organisation. The trailers so far show more of the whipsmart action and charming wit the series has made itself known for, but hopefully this isn’t just yet another new coat of paint on a series that so far has only had one story to tell. If this one can pull something new out of its bag of tricks and prove Kingsman is more than just a one-trick pony, hopefully that will make a return to the story of Eggsy a little more justifiable.

  1. The Lovebirds

Release Date: 3rd April (US), 24th April (UK)

Director Michael Showalter and actor Kumail Nanjiani struck gold in 2017 with their touching rom-com The Big Sick, and now for their second feature they are attempting an odd combo: romantic comedy and murder mystery. With Nanjiani and Insecure star Issa Rae in the leads as a couple on the verge of break-up whilst being accused of murder, this mixture of emotions could easily end up muddled, but in these capable hands I have a strong amount of trust. Maybe it doesn’t sound like the heartbreaking awards contender The Big Sick was, but it at least has the potential to be a barrel of laughs.

  1. Run

Release Date: 24th January (US), N/A (UK)

My spidey sense is telling me that, given this film is supposedly a month away from its US release but has had no promotional materials released other than a few set photos, this film may be in danger of a major delay. Regardless of when it releases, this looks like a sleeper release to watch. This is director Aneesh Chaganty’s sophomore after his fantastic 2018 debut Searching, and it’s going to be interesting to see what he can do with a more traditional feature rather than a screenwatch film. The base concept of a daughter suspecting her mother of something dark has prime psychological thriller material written all over it, and featuring a disabled protagonist is certainly a plus for both diversity and suspense. Wish I had more to say, but certainly keep an eye out for this one.

  1. Black Widow

Release Date: 1st May (US, UK)

After nearly a decade of waiting, Black Widow is finally getting her own solo movie, and what an interesting beast it looks to be. An espionage thriller in the vein of Winter Soldier but turned up a notch, the exact purpose of this midquel to Civil War and Infinity War still remains a mystery, but hopefully this is more than just a promise to Scarlett Johansson being ticked off a checklist and instead dives deeper into the lore of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and retroactively gives Natasha Romanoff a proper shot at depth and redemption. On the plus side, if all the business with Johansson proves tiring, Florence Pugh and David Harbour look more than entertaining enough to keep this one afloat.

  1. Ghostbusters: Afterlife

Release Date: 10th July (US, UK)

The response to 2016’s Ghostbusters was incredibly disappointing, with a flawed but decent and promising film being shunned to the sidelines simply for not being exactly what the fanboys wanted. Well, it seems Sony and Jason Reitman have taken notice and are delivering what they asked for…just not in quite the way they expected. Film fans should already know that Jason Reitman is about as a distant a filmmaker from his father and original Ghostbusters director Ivan as you can get, and based on the trailer Afterlife is arguably even more of a departure for the series than Paul Feig’s entry. This could easily just end up being Ghostbusters: The Force Awakens, but if Reitman can find something interesting and poignant to say about the series whilst still delivering the goods, I’m more than excited to hear.

  1. Tenet

Release Date: 17th July (US, UK)

Any new Christopher Nolan is always going to be an event, but Tenet easily looks like his most exciting new idea since Inception. As usual, the exact details of the film’s premise is being kept tight under wraps, but the trailer certainly suggests time manipulation is the central thrust of the film’s narrative. The film’s cast of John David Washington, Robert Pattinson and Elizabeth Debicki is also intriguing, but of course Michael Caine is still on hand in some form. Whatever the final film turns out to be about, it is all but guaranteed to be a visual spectacular.

  1. No Time to Die

Release Date: 2nd April (UK), 10th April (US)

Daniel Craig has been our James Bond for fourteen years now, and with this fifth and (most likely) final outing as 007 we find ourselves in interesting territory. With Cary Fukunaga at the helm (the first non-British director in franchise history) and a cast full of returning favourites and interesting new faces, No Time to Die looks to wrap up the Craig era in spectacular fashion. The trailer perhaps hints a little too much that it hasn’t learnt the big lesson from Spectre (i.e. don’t treat James Bond like a Marvel movie and pretend these films have an overarching planned narrative), but the action and style absolutely looks on display.

  1. Last Night in Soho

Release Date: 18th September (UK), 25th September (US)

As much as Edgar Wright likes to play around with genre, he has equally found himself stuck in the same self-deprecating cycle since the beginning of his career. Well, with Last Night in Soho, it looks like he’s finally trying something completely out of his wheelhouse. With a premise that reads like Midnight in Paris crossed with Don’t Look Know and a cast including Anya Taylor-Joy, Thomasin McKenzie and Matt Smith, this psychological horror fantasy looks to be an ideal step forward into a new era for Wright, and hopefully he can find the right balance between expressing his reverence for cinema and leaving his own mark too.

  1. Eternals

Release Date: 6th November (US, UK)

Whilst Marvel’s first entry this year seems to be playing it relatively safe, Eternals promises to be something a little more cosmic and out-of-this-world. Whilst the property is extremely obscure and not particularly popular, its century-hopping narrative rife with gonzo Jack Kirby imagination certainly hints this could be something of a change of pace. With Marvel’s most diverse and interesting cast to date and a filmmaker as idiosyncratic as Chloe Zhao at the helm, hopefully Eternals can officially kick of Phase Four with some style.

  1. Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn)

Release Date: 7th February (US, UK)

I can’t believe I’m more excited for DC’s slate of films this year than Marvel’s, but here’s the simple case: Marvel is continuing to simply do what it’s proven good at, whilst DC has been slowly stepping out of its shell and is now promising vastly different and vibrant superhero films that looks and sound totally unique. Case in point: a manic, pop-punk extravaganza starring some of the greatest ladies in Gotham City drenched in neon and explosions. Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn was the main saving grace of Suicide Squad, and now without the restraints of Jared Leto and the Snyder era holding her back it’s going to be exciting to see what she can do with this much-beloved character.

  1. Dune

Release Date: 20th November (UK), 18th December (US)

Dune is a property that is ripe for adaptation and yet is so difficult to distil into something palatable. Alejandro Jodorowsky famously failed in his attempts to adapt Frank Herbert’s seminal sci-fi classic to the screen, and the 1984 David Lynch version was rife with issues caused by getting lost in translation. Now, Denis Villeneuve is taking his shot with this first part in a promised duology adapting the original novel, and I couldn’t think of a better filmmaker to finally tackle this immense task. With films like Arrival and Blade Runner 2049 under his belt, Villeneuve’s eye and sensibilities are perfect for the rich and pedantic world of Dune, and anyone else just needs to look at the cast list for the film to realise the immensity of this production. Whether this ends up a triumph or a disaster, this is absolutely one to watch.

  1. Wonder Woman 1984

Release Date: 5th June (US, UK)

If you haven’t already noticed, women are directing all four major superhero blockbusters this year. Whilst that is far from meaning sexism in the industry is over, it is a sign that the tides are shifting and women’s voices are being more heard in mainstream entertainment, and the first Wonder Woman film was a huge game changer that proved so many assumptions about women in blockbusters wrong. With Patty Jenkins once again at the helm, Wonder Woman 1984 looks like it has everything that made the first film a near-masterpiece of the genre and, now finally free of the Snyder aesthetic, can be as joyously bright and wild as it wants. How is Chris Pine’s Steve Trevor back? What is Kristen Wiig as Cheetah going to look like? How can Pedro Pascal still be this attractive whilst playing a Donald Trump stand-in? All of these questions and more have me utterly chomping at the bit to see Wonder Woman 1984, and here’s hoping it’s the film that truly signals the rebirth of the DC Extended Universe.

JOJO RABBIT – an Alternative Lens review

Starring: Roman Griffith Davis, Thomasin McKenzie (Leave No Trace), Scarlett Johansson (Marriage Story), Taika Waititi (Thor: Ragnarok), Sam Rockwell (Vice), Rebel Wilson (Pitch Perfect), Alfie Allen (John Wick), Stephen Merchant (Portal 2), Archie Yates

Writer/Director: Taika Waititi (Hunt for the Wilderpeople)

Runtime: 1 hour 48 minutes

Release Date: 18th October (US), 1st January (UK)

We live in troubled times indeed, and what helps us more than anything to get through it all with our sanity intact is laughter. Whilst satire has thrived in recent years through sketch comedy and late night talk shows taking jabs at our socio-economic climate, films taking on the task have been a little fewer and far between. In walks Taika Waititi, fresh off a one-two-three punch of What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt for the Wilderpeople and Thor: Ragnarok, with what is essentially the greatest Mel Brooks film never made. It’s too easy to describe the premise of Jojo Rabbit and end up making it sounds distasteful, but the final product is far from that. On the contrary, it is a master class in taking a horrible tragedy and turning it into something beautiful.

Whilst Jojo Rabbit firmly plants itself within its period setting of Germany at the tail end of World War II, it does a fantastic job of contemporizing its story and themes. Right from its opening titles, which juxtaposes propaganda footage of Germans going crazy for Adolf Hitler to the tune of “I Want To Hold Your Hand” by The Beatles, it firmly makes a point that this more than just a piece of history. However, it is less a comment on fascism as a whole and more the effect it can have on family and a young person’s mind. It is at its core a coming-of-age film about being yourself and overcoming societal conformity, but with Nazis and Jewish refugees in place of the bullies and nerds, and with that collation comes the humour. Jojo Rabbit is a consistently witty and clever story, but it also knows when to take a step back from the comedy and showcase the true horror of its setting. It never attempts to sugarcoat the reality of history for too long, and those moments of genuine tragedy can be gut wrenching to the point of tears. It is the wake-up call this culture needs right now to remember where we have been and what we can try to do to prevent it, and is ultimately an optimistic story of a boy learning to question his beliefs and see the world for what it truly is and could be.

Waititi has already proven himself a remarkable director of child actors with Boy and Hunt for the Wilderpeople, and with Jojo Rabbit he has fostered yet another great young star in Roman Griffith Davis as the titular cowardly Hitler Youth. He brings humour and relatability to Jojo, a character who could have too easily been portrayed as righteous or stupid, instead firmly framing his warped worldview as a manifestation of his fears and naivety. Through his performance, Davis makes clear that Jojo is not a bad person, but simply one who needs to learn more about himself and others. Opposite him as the fugitive hiding within his walls Elsa, Thomasin McKenzie continues to prove herself another actor to watch with her dry and world-weary young woman who has been forced to grow up too fast. Scarlett Johansson brings a different sense of humour to the story as Jojo’s mother, using her assertiveness and kind heart for both comedic and dramatic purposes to play the kind of mum any of us would be lucky to have.

Sam Rockwell gives a surprisingly understated performance as the disgraced Captain Klenzendorf, still infusing plenty of comedy whilst ultimately playing a graceless yet tragically human character. Archie Yates is easily the film’s breakout star as Jojo’s buddy Yorki, providing a mirror to Jojo’s own misguided beliefs, and the likes of Rebel Wilson, Alfie Allen and Stephen Merchant all bring strong performances in their more limited roles. Ultimately though, the director himself is the real scene-stealer, as Waititi himself takes on the role of Jojo’s imaginary friend…Adolf Hitler. Waititi brings much of the same sense of humour he’s brought to many of his other roles, but using that same flippant and laidback comedy whilst playing one of history’s greatest monsters is a tremendously comical middle finger to the real-life villain, and is far more of a nuanced and psychologically rich performance than a simple caricature.

The best way to describe the aesthetic of Jojo Rabbit is “toy box fascist”, as it takes horrendous Nazi imagery and paints it with an idealistic and bright colour palette. It never glosses over the real-life atrocities, but instead uses its twisted aesthetic to lampoon the subtle ridiculousness of fascist iconography. This carries over into the film’s costumes, which lie somewhere on the fine line between historically accurate and outfits from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Michael Giacchino provides a fantastic score as always, and the film’s frequent use of classic rock and pop tunes with German lyrics is a wonderfully quirky touch.

Jojo Rabbit is the movie this ailing world needs right now: a reminder that innocence and humanity can be found in the darkest of places. It is an excellent ridiculing of both the depravity and the machismo of the Nazi Party, and ultimately is a feel-good triumph about love overcoming hatred. It’s confirmation that Taika Waititi is far more than just a quirky clown who never takes anything seriously; he’s a nuanced and talented filmmaker with a unique voice and something to say. This isn’t a film that is immediately going to fix the world or deprogram every alt-right sadboy who happens to watch it, but I hope it leaves an impact and helps someone realise we are not in too dissimilar a situation right now…

FINAL VERDICT: 10/10!

CATS – an Alternative Lens review

Starring: James Corden (Into the Woods), Judi Dench (Skyfall), Jason Derulo, Idris Elba (Beasts of No Nation), Jennifer Hudson (Dreamgirls), Ian McKellen (X-Men), Taylor Swift (The Gift), Rebel Wilson (Pitch Perfect), Francesca Hayward

Director: Tom Hooper (The King’s Speech)

Writers: Lee Hall (Billy Elliot) & Tom Hooper

Runtime: 1 hour 50 minutes

Release Date: 20th December (US, UK)

So………Cats. I, uh…what is there even to say? It’s Cats, but now a movie, and…um, yeah, it’s…it’s kinda bad and weird but also fascinating and laughable and…well, that’s about all I can muster when pressed for comment. It is “a musical experience”, I’ll grant it that, but…what even is this? I honestly feel more confused having now seen the damn thing than when it was just a meme-worthy trailer, so now…I guess I’ll try and review it? I mean, this rambling first paragraph should alone tell you my state of mind after watching it, but…OK. Let me get my critic hat on and suss this one out.

One of the more common criticisms of Cats as a musical is that it doesn’t have much of a plot; it’s more of a mood piece that introduces you to its world and characters, there’s a slight bit of conflict involving Grizabella (Hudson) and Macavity (Elba), and then it kind of resolves itself and ends. The film version massages the limited story into something slightly more cohesive on a structure level, but ultimately the same criticism applies. The plot is just window dressing to set up each song, many of which don’t move the story forward in any way. It’s actually kind of a monotonous and boring series of events that just repeats over and over. A cat introduces themselves, sings about their one thing, Macavity shows up to be evil, rise and repeat for nearly two hours. That…that’s honestly all there is to say. I guess there’s some themes about forgiveness and second chances, but it’s not all that deep. Most of the rest of the dialogue is all psychedelic mumbo jumbo about how cats have three names and are magic or something. I…I really did see the movie, readers. I’m not just throwing this review together for the clicks. It’s about as empty and confusing as I’m making it sound.

Anyway…since the moment the film was announced, adding even more to its perplexing nature is the ludicrous cast they’ve assembled for it, and many of them look about as bewildered as the audience. There’s no real consistency in what level of performance they’re giving, and they range from taking it way too seriously to completely hamming it up. James Cordena and Rebel Wilson are essentially just playing variations of themselves, Jason Derulo is going full-on horndog rockstar, Jennifer Hudson seems to think she can pull an Anne Hathaway with an Oscar bait performance, and Ian McKellen…well, he’s the only one who seems to know how ridiculous this all is and just rolls with it. It’s just kind of surreal for the most part. You’re watching Judi Dench covered in fur curled up in a wicker basket and Idris Elba strutting around essentially naked but not because cat hair. There is no way to take any of this seriously, and everyone seems to be confused about whether they should or not. Nobody gives a bad performance per se. It mainly just comes down to thin material and woefully bad direction.

As soon as footage from the film was released, everyone was freaked out by how bizarre and unsettling the CGI used to turn these actors into cat hybrids. Whilst the final product is far more seamless and well executed than that early trailer suggested, from a design perspective it’s still just a baffling result. The odd choices of what to make feline and what to leave human just creates some utterly bemusing imagery, like how the cats often crawl about on their knees or have hairy hands with human digits they still refer to as paws. From a technical perspective it’s an impressive effect, but regardless it looks gaudy and upsetting and just using costumes and make-up to transform the actors would have probably been less expensive and more palatable. There is a surprising amount of practical elements in the film like the gigantic size-warping sets, but because there is not a single shot without computer enhancement it all looks so sleek and unreal that it might as well be an animated film.

Oh, and because this is a musical, I guess I should talk about the music………I didn’t like it. It has kind of the same problem Les Miserables has in that a lot of the songs are melodically interchangeable, but that musical has lyrics rich in theme and emotion and character conflict whilst Cats has…”I’m a house cat” and “I’m a sexy cat” and “I’m an actor cat” and “I’m a train cat” and…yeah, I think I made my point.

Yeah, not going to lie: this movie has kind of broken me. I have never been this baffled walking out of a movie theatre ever, but oddly enough it hasn’t left much of an impact on my brain. My struggle to write this review is less because of how utterly insane and awful this film is, and more just how underwhelmingly banal and forgettable the whole experience was (honestly, my brain quickly went back to still sussing out what went wrong with The Rise of Skywalker). It’s not even that remarkable in a so-bad-it’s-good sort of way. It’s just…dull. What else did you expect from Tom Hooper, the man who made Les Miserables look dull and pretentious and incompetent? This is easily the worst mainstream Hollywood musical in a long time, and that $95 million budget isn’t going to be made back easily. Now can someone please bring me back to reality? Please?

FINAL VERDICT: 2.5/10

STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER – an Alternative Lens review

Starring: Daisy Ridley (Murder on the Orient Express), Adam Driver (BlacKkKlansman), John Boyega (Detroit), Oscar Isaac (Inside Lleywn Davis), Lupita Nyong’o (Us), Domnhall Gleeson (About Time), Kelly Marie Tran (Sorry for Your Loss), Naomi Ackie (Lady Macbeth), Richard E. Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me?), Mark Hamill (Kingsman: The Secret Service), Billy Dee Williams (Batman), Carrie Fisher (When Harry Met Sally), Ian McDiarmid (Return of the Jedi)

Director: JJ Abrams (Star Trek)

Writers: JJ Abrams & Chris Terrio (Argo)

Runtime: 2 hours 21 minutes

Release Date: 19th December (UK), 20th December (US)

So for the third time in history, Star Wars comes to an end but not really. We already know there are more movies and TV shows in the works, but The Rise of Skywalker draws a line in the sand and ends what we now call The Skywalker Saga. It’s been a long and rocky road to this finish line filled with production troubles and a divided fanbase that has kept everyone wracked with one question: how do you end Star Wars? Well, The Rise of Skywalker certainly is a way of doing it, though I’m hard pressed to say it’s the best way.

Evident right from how the first paragraph of the opening title crawl drops a huge story-shattering plot point with no build-up, the biggest problem ailing The Rise of Skywalker is pacing. After the deliberate and contemplative The Last Jedi, the ninth instalment constantly feels like it’s trying to make up for lost time and hurries itself at nearly every moment. The film is jam-packed with exposition as our heroes dash from one locale to the next, engaging in an action set piece and a bewildering plot twist at every stop on the journey. Whilst the wit and heart JJ Abrams established in The Force Awakens is still present, there are barely any moments of downtime to appreciate the world or ruminate on our character’s trajectory. What moments of character introspection there are do land, and certain moments may have some long-time fans shedding a tear, but nothing gets a chance to sit still.

As for the story itself, well…I didn’t think they could make a more divisive Star Wars movie than The Last Jedi, but Abrams and co have done it. There’s a lot of smaller plot beats that do really work, particularly those that expand on the trilogy’s themes of defying destiny and withstanding overwhelming odds, but many of the core ideas the film is built around are shaky and best and outright preposterous at worst. It’s hard to deny the passion and devotion Abrams has poured into the film, but ultimately his unbridled fandom is the film’s downfall, as at every turn it takes the easy way out and answers what remaining questions it can with obvious, disappointing answers (oh, and plenty of unanswered questions remain). They certainly do mine plenty of pathos and closure out of these moments, and some of them very much enhance the themes and ideas George Lucas himself established for the franchise, but at their core some of these ideas would not feel out of place in a fan fiction. Whilst I do compliment Abrams for avoiding just recreating Return of the Jedi with a different coat of paint, and the difficulty of ending a franchise this storied and beloved must have been intense, everything wrong with The Rise of Skywalker can be traced back to the screenplay. The film itself is as professionally presented and sculpted as any of the post-Lucas entries, but more now than ever has the lack of planning on Lucasfilm’s part bitten them in the backside. In retrospect, perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to entrust ending one of cinema’s hugest franchises to the guy who co-wrote Batman v Superman?

As a result of the rushed pacing, one of the biggest casualties is how the series’ talented cast gets little time to celebrate their accomplishments and enjoy their characters for one last time. Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver remain the central focus of the film’s story as Rey and Kylo Ren respectively, and their characters are the only ones given much development. Ridley is tasked with playing a much more nuanced Rey, with her optimism in the previous instalments replaced with anxiety and determination, resulting in a trilogy-wide arc that feels conclusive if a little lopsided. Driver too is challenged with the conflict inside Kylo, and his performance ranges from unbridled anger to scared silence; he really knows how to get across a lot with just some subtle facial expressions. Even as their connected storyline pays off in a slightly obvious and tawdry fashion, they perform it with so much gusto that it hits more often than it doesn’t. In stark contrast and despite being present for as much of the film’s story as Rey and Kylo, nowhere near as much care is paid to John Boyega’s Finn and Oscar Isaac’s Poe. Whilst the pair do give it their all and retain their infectious chemistry, they have no discernable arcs other than reaffirming what they already learnt about heroism and sacrifice in The Last Jedi; it’s like how Return of Jedi spent so much time bringing Han Solo back only to do nothing with him all over again.

Lupita Nyong’o’s Maz Kanata has more screen time than she did last time around but somehow has even less to do, Domnhall Gleeson’s General Hux gets a moment to shine before unceremoniously exiting, and Kelly Marie Tran’s Rose Tico is absolutely done dirty by being sidelined until the third act and given little to do but spout exposition. Even the new characters feel like after-thoughts that could have easily been merged with existing players; Richard E. Grant’s General Pryde practically just slots into Hux’s role, whilst Naomi Ackie’s Jannah could have been Rose with a few rewrites. General Leia’s role is handled as gracefully as they can with the limited footage remaining of the late Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams is a tad superfluous as the returning Lando Calrissian but he’s clearly having fun with the role, and Mark Hamill brings back a little of that old trilogy charm as Luke Skywalker one last time. However, the main returning attraction is absolutely Ian McDiarmid as Emperor Palpatine. Though his inclusion in the story will certainly prove divisive, having McDiarmid back in full-on Revenge of the Sith “unlimited power!” force is a devious delight. Oh, and C-3PO actually gets something to do and Anthony Daniels is as blissfully whimsical as ever and everything he says in the movie made me happy, so that’s a solid positive.

On a technical level, The Rise of Skywalker is as beautifully executed as all of Lucasfilm’s recent entries. The return to the original trilogy’s aesthetic with a modern twist is still in full force, and the number of new worlds and creatures on display continues to astonish. The film is a visual delight with striking cinematography and imaginative production design, bolstered by a still-seamless blend of practical and visual effects. John Williams delivers his swan song as composer of the series, beautifully weaving in themes from across all three trilogies into the score whilst still surprising us with new compositions; the theme for the Knights of Ren is especially menacing. However, the topic of pacing continues to be a running theme through this critique, and the film’s erratic editing is another big culprit. The film’s first act is especially muddled and disarming, with the series’ signature wipe transitions ramped up as we swiftly cut from location to location. The editing luckily finds a better rhythm by the halfway point, but it remains an issue throughout, and it all screams of a production that either shot way too much footage or not enough.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker is like being in a one-sided relationship: it keeps doing things that make you want to leave whilst doing just enough to make you stay, and at every point you’re willing to forgive and move on it slights you again. It tries to be everything to every kind of Star Wars fan, hurriedly wrapping up the saga in a convenient bow, but it instead often comes off as trite and sycophantic. As opposed to the prequels, which generally had solid intentions but simply executed them poorly, this is a film riddled with bad ideas that they’ve somehow executed with heart and effort. It’s far from being lazy or boring or even unimaginative; the final product is far too humungous and gaudy to be any of those things. For better and worse, it is absolutely a Star Wars film as made by a Star Wars fan, and as clumsily and perplexingly as it chooses to end the series…it does accomplish those goals.

There’s an adage frequently repeated by characters in this film along the lines of, “If we don’t do this now, everything we have worked for will have been for nothing.” That couldn’t be a more apt metaphor for what happened to this movie. It is the most baffling and disappointing end to a trilogy since The Matrix Revolutions and, whilst it doesn’t negate the quality and accomplishments of The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi, it will leave a bittersweet taste in the mouths of many fans. I do not hate The Rise of Skywalker. I am not demanding that we get a do-over. I do not condone sending abuse in the direction of JJ Abrams, Kathleen Kennedy or anyone else in the cast and crew. It’s merely a subpar entry in a franchise that has already had several subpar entries. Nothing more, nothing less. As frustrated and saddened I am by how it’s all ended up, it does not change how much this franchise means to me and to cinema in general, with all and the ups and downs it has been through over four decades of storytelling. Congrats on making it to the finish line, Star Wars. It hasn’t always been easy, but I’m glad you’re still here.

FINAL VERDICT: 5.5/10

JUMANJI: THE NEXT LEVEL – an Alternative Lens review

Starring: Dwayne Johnson (Rampage), Jack Black (School of Rock), Kevin Hart (The Upside), Karen Gillan (Guardians of the Galaxy), Nick Jonas (Midway), Awkwafina (The Farewell), Danny Glover (Lethal Weapon), Danny DeVito (Matilda)

Director: Jake Kasdan (Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story)

Writers: Jake Kasdan and Jeff Pinkner (The Amazing Spider-Man 2) & Scott Rosenberg (Con Air)

Runtime: 2 hours 2 minutes

Release Date: 11th December (UK), 13th December (US)

I don’t think anyone was expecting the reboot of Jumanji to take the world by storm, but for whatever reason Welcome to the Jungle ended up being a near-billion dollar box office smash. An extra sweet surprise is that it was also happened to be a solid action-adventure comedy with a fun premise and plenty of laughs. With both critical and commercial success in the bag, of course another entry was inevitable, but the question then is where to really go with the franchise. That’s unfortunately the main hurdle The Next Level never quite manages to vault. It’s got more than enough new concepts and gags to entertain, but it fumbles the ball with every opportunity it has to go above and beyond its predecessor.

If you could strip back to the chassis of The Next Level like you would a car, it would be plainly obvious that it’s built on the exact same framework as Welcome to the Jungle. Plot structure, narrative beats, character development, even the logical gaps in the video game premise; all of it has been lifted directly from its predecessor. It’s not quite as blatant a rehash as something like The Hangover Part II, but it’s especially odd considering how much the film tries to signal how different it is on the surface. Once you get beyond which avatars our characters now inhabit and the addition of desert and snow levels to the prior film’s jungle, the story has little to offer other than more of the same. Even the character arcs and themes could only be called extrapolations of those explored in the last instalment, with many storylines even having to take steps backwards just to recapture that same drama. There’s some interesting potential for the film to take an introspective and mature look at subjects like depression, frayed relationships and embracing adulthood but, with the arguable exception of one character, they drop the ball. The film doesn’t even seem to realise what it has most of the time, instead defaulting back to the same “teamwork and friendship is good” mantra of so many films of its ilk.

Fortunately, the film’s comedy picks up a lot of the slack and they certainly make the most of what shake-ups there are to the formula. The action set pieces are arguably even bigger and slicker that last time around, particularly a suspension bridge sequence that emulates a platforming puzzle section in a video game, and the film moves at a solid enough clip with plenty of laughs that it’s hard to notice the blatant recycling going on. It’s like going on a rollercoaster you loved again immediately after your last ride; it’s still a lot of fun, but the surprise factor is now gone and you start to notice things that you were never supposed to. Once the film reaches its conclusion with a set-up for a sequel that sounds way more interesting, this entry only begins to feel more and more like a placeholder.

What really sold Welcome to the Jungle was the chemistry between its leads and the hilarity mined from these Hollywood stars having to act so much out of character. That dynamic switch-up is where The Next Level’s innovations mainly lie, and it is absolutely the film’s strongest asset. Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart mine a lot of material out of having to act like Danny DeVito and Danny Glover respectively, giving the typical old man jokes new life with their distinct delivery and context. Karen Gillan gets a lot more time to shine, effectively playing the competent straight man to a troupe of wildcards, but she still manages to deliver on the comedic front too. After stealing much of the last film, Jack Black takes a little more of a back seat this time around, whilst Nick Jonas once again feels a little superfluous and bland compared to the rest of the cast; he is very much the Doug of the group.

The only major addition to the in-game cast is Awkwafina, and though her screen time is limited she is absolutely a solid compliment to the returning players. She seems a little wasted on her debut into the story, but once the third act rolls around it becomes clear why Awkwafina was cast and she absolutely steals it from then on. Once again, the film wastes an opportunity for an interesting villain by swapping out Bobby Cannavale as a generic one-note bad guy who has stolen a gem to…Rory McCann as a generic one-note bad guy who has stolen a gem. Honestly, they might as well had Cannavale come back as the same guy and had him do the exact same thing. That’s what they’ve essentially done with Rhys Darby here, and there might have been something comedic to mine out of that concept.

Jumanji: The Next Level is the definition of disposable entertainment; fun while it lasts, but nothing you’re particularly going to remember in a few days. It relies far too much on what worked last time around, resulting a product that has very little to offer you couldn’t gain by just watching Welcome to the Jungle. Sure, the adage goes “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”, but it’s also often wise to fix something before it breaks rather than after, and Jumanji’s tyres are now in urgent need of replacing after barely scraping across the finish line. If the film’s sequel hook does pay off, they’ve at least set themselves up for something familiar but different, and hopefully the next entry can now build upon its prior successes rather than just repeating them. 

FINAL VERDICT: 6/10