RENTAL ROUND-UP – June/July 2013

I Give It A Year

From the writer of Borat comes this British romantic comedy that puts a new twist on the genre. Unfortunately, that’s not enough to keep this movie going. I’m not usually a fan of awkward humour, and this film is filled with nothing but awkward humour; lots of people struggling with dirty talk or being weirded out by it. Other than a few minor chuckles and some decent performances, there isn’t much here to enjoy. You may have some original ideas on the genre, but you’re nothing without good humour. 3/10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Texas Chainsaw

The original Texas Chain Saw Massacre was a landmark of the horror genre and helped kickstart the classic slasher genre. But 39 years later, the franchise has dried out, as evidenced by this tired, clichéd, mess of a movie. Ignoring all previous sequels and continuing where the first left off? Good idea. Filling the movie with unlikable characters, stupid plot twists and broken continuity? Terrible idea. This series just needs to be put to rest before the original’s name is sullied even more. 2/10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Movie 43

What can I say about this movie? What is there to say about this movie? Well, I can say I am sincerely disappointed with everyone involved in this travesty and they should have all known better. This is an utter waste of time for both the filmmakers and the audience, and this movie deserves to be tried for crimes against film, acting, writing and common decency. I rarely say this, but F*** THIS MOVIE! 1/10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

If you went into this movie expecting anything more than the title suggests, you deserve to be disappointed. The movie is f***ing stupid, but it knows it is f***ing stupid and rolls with it. It’s still full of problems like inconsistency of tone and poorly-defined characters, but there is enough fun moments here and there for it to be worth your time if this sounds like your type of movie. 5.5/10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parker

Jason Statham movies are usually worth a watch just for their ridiculousness. But this movie takes itself way too seriously, and that is its biggest downfall. This is a pretty generic action thriller with little original flair to it, which makes it a bore to watch for the most part. The only reason to watch this movie is to laugh at Statham’s hilarious attempt at a Southern accent, and even that isn’t that funny after a while. Let’s just hope that Crank 3 is somewhere around the corner. 3/10